White Lies
by Mewrlise
Summary: It might seem strange that I have acclimated to my new situation so easily. That I discarded my old life so fast and embraced this new one so quickly. But, it was because I did not want to die regretting my life, again. When I die, —this time — I want to be able to say 'Yes, I made mistakes, but overall, I loved my life.'
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

 **Yes I have previously published a story under the same name with the same characters. With was still only 1 chapter. I deleted it and started again because I wanted to change the way I wrote it —from third to first person— I admit that this is not the main story that I am writing at the moment, Uzushiogakure Reborn being the one I am focusing on, but I want to take a break from that and focus a bit on this one anyway.**

 **I apologise for any spelling and grammar error, that you are more then welcome to point out. English is indeed not my first language, although that does not necessarily excuse my mistakes as I have been speaking it for years, it is a reason. I did double read this before posting and corrected mistakes that I noticed but unless I correct it after a couple days I will not see most errors and I am to impatient to wait after I finished writing so... here is another OC-SI, every authors guilty pleasure.**

 **I hope you enjoy:**

* * *

Being reborn was fun. No, it was amazing, If I had to rate it, I would give it ten out of ten. After all who wouldn't like feeling as if they have been violently shredded into pieces and the hastily put back together?

And then, after being…unconscious? I woke up in a liquid filled space. Of course my mind automatically deduced that this was not normal, so I panicked. And then my panic turned to horror as I realised I had no control over my motor skills.

I didn't immediately realised what happened, after all who just jumps to the conclusion that they were dead and caught in the rebirth process?

Not me.

Even after feeling that intense pain from back then didn't make me think that. I could have simply been in an accident. Your body hurt after one right? That is what I though for a long time. Trying to maintain my calm in this watery void. Maybe it was not water, something the doctors have done.

Yes, that made sense.

That's what I told myself.

Of course, I had to rip apart that belief the moment I was _born_. Yup, you read right. And let me tell you, _nothing_ beats being awake and _very_ much aware during your own birth. Nothing.

But I bore it, and eventually, after much screaming, —which I was certain to have played a part in— I was out. Hands moved about quickly, but gently. And I felt as I was being washed and wrapped into a blanket.

When I was passed on to my mother, I instantly relaxed.

It had nothing to do with me consciously deciding this, but a natural reaction born from raw instinct. I knew without a shred of doubt that this was the woman who gave birth to me.

However my peace only lasted a moment, and then I felt something soft being pushed into my mouth.

 _Oh, God. No._

But, I had no choice in the matter if I wanted to eat. So I dutifully accepted my fate.

* * *

 **-4 years and 6 months later-**

Nakatomi Yukiko. That was my name this time around. I was born on the 27th of February to Nakatomi Kimiko and Osamu. I have two older brothers and one sister, as well as a younger brother.

Currently I was throwing a temper tantrum in my room, like the four year old brat that I was. You might find this odd as I am very much an adult in mind, however I still had the body and brain of a child, so I was in part ruled by them as well.

Which could only mean that I had to go through puberty again…great.

The reason why I was driving my carers up the walls right now was simple. Marriage.

Yup that's right; _marriage_.

I was born into one of the most prestigious noble families in the hole of Hi no Kuni. The Nakatomi family, who, for generations were one of the daimyo's closest friends.

Last week another one of the noble families, the Kuchimitsu family, have come to visit us, and congratulate our father for producing another healthy male.

The Kuchimitsu family was not as prominent as my own. Add to the fact that the head's wife had produced up till now 6 females… well I knew that the visit was more than to simply congratulate us for a new addition.

However I know that my father was a hard ass, who was determined to maintain our position within the elite society, and the Kuchimitsus…well lets say… that from what I heard of the servants talking …they were not that great.

Yet, despite this, if they did propose to have an arranged marriage between our families, I knew that father could not completely alienate them or outright dismiss them.

What I did not expect was that in stead of having one of my brother's engaged to one of their daughters, father had proposed an arranged marriage between myself and their only son, Ichirou.

And I was not a happy cookie. Yes I understood, far more than anyone probably gave me credit for, what my position was. It was certainly weird in the beginning, when I started to realise the political system going on. It was ancient, and from my brief knowledge of Japanese history it resembled it.

Su for a while I thought I was reborn in feudal Japan or something. It would of certainly explain the lack of technology and the presence of a daimyo.

However, my parents had hired tutors to start teaching me since I started learning how to talk and that was when I was barely one years old. This as a result enabled me to realise that I wasn't reborn in feudal Japan or the like.

As a matter of fact, when I was shown a map of this world I instantly understood that I was not even in the same world.

Some might find it strange, how fast I adapted to this world. How easily I discarded my old life and embraced this one. But this is just the kind of person I am.

Of course I loved my old family, and missed them greatly, especially my mother. Yet, I understand that I died. So even if I could return, to what exactly would I return? A corpse?

So with that I have neatly boxed up —as much as I could— of my past life and hidden it deep in my heart and mind. To ensure that while I did not forget it, I would not be held back by it from making a place for myself in this new word.

It wasn't easy at first, and I have retained much of my previous personality clearly. But I was not naive enough as to not realise that I was not the same. How could I be?

After all our personality is shaped by our experiences and as a result it is always changing. Sometimes it is in big ways but most of the time it was in subtle, 'I didn't even realise it', kind of ways.

And frankly, here? I was a bloody politics guru…more or less. But all of my siblings were…to some extent as well. Except my oldest brother. I honestly doubted that he understood anything beyond that he was rich.

I was also mere detached which was a sad thing to realise when I have barely lived here for more than four years. But such was life, and I can't say that me and my new family are the closest bunch.

I spent more time with my careers than I did with my actual parents, which is why I get really bad that they had to deal with my tantrum right now.

"Please Yukiko-hime, you need to get ready for dinner. You cannot be late and Ichirou-sama will also be there. Don't you want to look pretty for him?" one of my maids said gently.

She didn't deserve it and I felt bad afterwards but I glared at her. I knew she was only trying to do her job, but the fact that I had to look pretty for someone else was jarring.

Regardless of the cultural difference between my two worlds, I still retain the memories of a woman who did not care about arranged marriages, being submissive to ones husband or being set up to simply be a trophy wife.

Fuck that.

* * *

Exactly forty minutes later I was seated at the dinner table next to my sister, who was also to our mother's right.

Nanako, my nurse from when I was born, came storming into my chambers, slapped some restraint into me and got me dressed, just as the last of our guest joined us.

I will admit that the furisode that I was wearing was very pretty. I was midnight blue and had white butterflies embroidered on the hem, and the obi was silver. It made my hair, skin and eyes stand out.

Oh, right another thing I should mention. I was —in my opinion— the embodiment of a bad cliche. I was born an albino, so I had chalk like skin, which took some time getting used too, really pale blonde hair and just as purple eyes.

I felt like face-palming when I fist saw it did not come with the cool red eyes or with the ability to stay in the sun without sunburning, I tried that once when I was two and a half years old…never again.

It was actually a bit inconvenient as I stood out almonds the sea of darker haired people around me. My eyes were also much more sensitive to light than I remembered they should be, so I generally sticked to the shade.

Ichirou, as my current fiancé, was seated next to me with a stupid smile on his face. Seriously the boy wasn't _bad_ …and I would have probably liked him if not for this situation. He was the brand of easy going that I appreciated. It could of course be a mask, or he has simply not been that affected by his family yet, —if the rumours are to be believed— but he was still nice.

I am sure that we could have been great friends, maybe we still can, but no more. I honestly do not see myself enjoying a life with him. And that was what marriage would entail, life. Because I sure as hell did not hear of anyone getting a divorce, they were very discouraged if they did happen.

He was just… I dunno, there was something missing about him. Maybe because he was a seven year old, and regardless of my physical body, I still possessed the mentality of an adult and that was just creepy.

It was just… I didn't want to regret my life. That was my philosophy in my old life as well. I wanted to die and be able to say: 'Yup, I made mistakes but overall I was happy with my life,'. And the sad thing was I already died unable to say that, therefore I really, really didn't want a repeat of that.

Once we were allowed to start eating, I took my time looking over the faces of the people in the room. Analysing their mannerism and listening to the conversations happening around me. I made sure to remember everything that I made a note off, incase the information ever came in handy.

I had an amazing memory this time around and was able to remember details that I could have only dreamed of doing in my past life. Once I was more or less done looking over the top half of the table, were all of my family and the Kuchimitsus were seated, I chanced a glance at the end.

Were the ninjas were seated.

Oh, yes. _Ninjas_. And not the kind you would see in period movies. Oh _no_ , that would have made life so far too easy for me.

However I have encountered these kind of ninjas before. In past life, while I was reading a manga, while I was watching an anime.

I honestly thought for a second to deny the possibility of what I though, but then when I saw one of them casually walking up the side of the wall she had her answer.

They were here as guards for my family during the Kuchimitsu's stay —of course father feed them a different reason, but we all know the truth…ah, _politics_ — and were four in total.

I tried to not blatantly stare at them. I surveyed the four males, all seemed to be in their late twenties. They wore what must have been the standard outfit. Dark blue pants, with a similarly coloured long sleeved shirt and a forest green flak jacket. Oh and some nice forehead protectors, that had a stylised leaf engaged on them.

The moment I first played my eyes on them _I knew_ , though it pained me to admit, exactly where I was.

I was in the Naruto-universe.

* * *

It felt like I was born in a bad fanfiction, however I had already decided to make the best out of this life and that was what I planned on doing. Screw Madara and his moon-eye plan.

Did it mean that I was planing on becoming a shinobi? No. I wasn't sure I was cut out for it. For all the plan and excitement surrounding it, I was aware that that lifestyle was far more painful, bloody and hard than Kishimoto ever bothered to emphasise or focus on.

The only thing that jumped to my mind from my old world which would show just how terrifying this lifestyle was, would be Ibiki's torture scars, Kirigakure's bloody exam and Orochimaru's creepy ass experiments. Everything else was either implied or assumed.

But it was clearly not sunshine and roses and the power of friendship. This was real life and that was not exactly how things worked.

Sure I guess I could assume that since this was clearly a fictional world then I must be dreaming, a comma perhaps, but it felt real too me and that was how I would treat it.

Plus by the same argument I could argue that I have dreamed up my old life. I personally preferred to accept them both as reality. As far as I am concerned I could argue that when Kishimoto dreamed up his manga, he might have simply gained a glimpse into another world. How was that anymore impossible than being reborn in said world?

Anyway, it was not night time and while I am aware that I should be sleeping right now, I just couldn't summon the sand man no matter how much I tried.

So I slipped on a pair of shoes, put on a haori over my night-time kimono and went outside in the gardens.

It wasn't the firs time I have done this, as a matter of fact, as long as the weather permitted it I would always go out in the gardens when I couldn't sleep.

However, what I did not expect, was the ninja with the long burnt-orange hair to have appeared next to me.

"Kyaa!" He put up his hands in the universal, I am not going to hurt you,' chuckling at my reaction.

"My apologies ojou-sama," he said, smiling awkwardly. "I did not meant to scare you, I have felt you leave your room and as your father hired us to make sure nothing happens to your family…" he trailed off, answer obvious.

It might have been creepy to be told by someone that they 'felt' you leave, however since I knew about chakra I did not even bat an eyelash.

"It is quite alright shinobi-san, I apologise if I have made your duty more bothersome," I apologised, giving even a little bow so as to show that I really am sorry.

What? I was a brat,—most of the time—true, _but I did_ have _manners_. And I did not enjoy being a bother…I just…tended to be one. _Damn_.

The shinobi in question blinked a bit at my behaviour. Do I really come across as such a horror, I lamented in my mind.

It was quiet for a while, and I finally managed to calm down enough to enjoy the cool August air. It was I that shattered the silence by asking the shinobi how it was to _actually_ be one.

Of course he started with the kiddie version, with it being very fulfilling and cool, yada, yada…till he saw my incredulous look and I asked him to be serious. His playfully expression melted, and instead, for a short moment, I saw the shadows. And that was alone was more chilling than the winter air.

"You are very observant ojou-sama, even during meal times. And I wasn't the only one who noticed," well I was only vaguely disappointed about not fooling a trained killer. But he answered my question in the end, and like I though, it was not a pretty, sparkling life…but it wasn't all bad she said.

Eventually we changed topics, moving to lighter conversation and before I realised it was dawn, and I panicked because I kept the man awake.

"I'm so sorry Ryuiji-san!" but he just chuckled in replay and said that he will catch a nap later.

That was how it was for the rest of the Kuchimitsu's stay. If I cold't sleep or I had questions Ryuiji-san kept me company.

When they left I went to personally see them off as well, wishing them a safe journey.

And then I went back to my normal day to day life.

Or so I wished to say. Nothing major happened but something Ryuiji said kept bothering me.

He made a joke when I told him that I did not want to go through an arranged marriage, but that all political ramifications made it hard not too. He jokingly said that I should become a kunoichi, that if I did I would be legally recognised as an adult everywhere in Hi no Kuni, and my dad couldn't be blamed for me calling off the engagement.

It was a joke but I took it far more seriously than he intended, and I know that he saw that too.

"It's not an easy live Yukiko-chan. Do not make this choice purely based on something like this," he warned me seriously.

I knew, I know, which was why I was giving it so much though. Being a ninja had many ramifications and I couldn't decide on it willy-nilly.

* * *

 **A/N: Tell me what you thought about this first bit please!**


	2. Chapter 2

**-2 months later-**

Two months was all the time I needed to make up my mind about what I wanted to do. That was a painfully short amount of time when it came to making a life altering decision, but the again I was certain some people didn't even _think_ about it.

Although, maybe that was a bit of a simplified version of the story. It wasn't like I simply spent my time seemingly looking at nothing as I deliberated the wisdom of being a ninja —which I spent a fair bit of time doing anyway—.

No, it was an assassination attack gone bad. With that being said this event was not uncommon. Of course the first time I heard my parents talk about someone having tried to poison my father I was terrified. But, over time, much like my siblings, we have gotten used to them, or at least the thought of them happening.

It wasn't that odd if you stopped to think about this. We are a noble family, and the first rule about being born a noble in this world—and maybe any world— was that we tried to one up each other constantly. Even if that was interpreted as getting rid of the competition.

Now there was rarely any evidence about who ordered which hit, but it was fairly easy to narrow down your suspect most of the time. And yet, even if a family had commissioned for your murder you would still invite them over for tea and parties, make small talk and be absolutely pleasant to them.

Politics at their finest if you asked me.

That was why, since we were two/three, we would start our poison immunity training. Which simply meant that we would have the family medic, carefully measure an appropriate amount of poison to add to our food so that the body created the needed antibodies to fight it off.

It was a very dangerous procedure, especially at such a young age, and even half a milligram could be the difference between mildly ill and death. I don't think I need to mention that this is a long process and that you need to have periods in which you give your body a break.

With that being said, the fact that someone tried to have my eldest brother killed was not all that surprising. What was surprising, was that this assassin bypassed our normal samurai guards, while I was in the garden with Noboru and my sister, Mitsuko.

It was the single most terrifying moment in my entire existence. I was frozen in shock when the man appeared, short sword drawn, and could do little more than scream and watch the events unfold.

Noboru wasn't killed and somehow Mitsuko managed to move and puss our brother out of the way, buying us enough time for the samurai to actually arrive.

I was disgusted with my inability to do anything. Logically I knew that my reaction was to be expected. I was still a child —mental age not counting— and have never truly experienced any violence other that the polite verbal spats, which was a skill only one who dabbled in politics would pick up.

It had cemented my resolve. I never, ever wanted to feel that vulnerable again, which was maybe asking a lot considering that the bath of a shinobi was full of things far, and I do mean far, more terrifying that that one incident.

I have spent hours deliberating the pros and cos of being a ninja, and trust me there were more cons than pros.

However I wanted to learn how to protect myself and frankly, as selfish as it might be I wanted the freedom which came with it. Ironic I know. After all, I would probably be more chained as a ninja than as I currently am a simple noble's daughter.

The only difference was the style of the chain. As a ninja, so long as I obeyed orders and did not betray my village I essentially had free-rein to do as I wanted. While here, I had to be constantly on my guard, —a skill most veteran ninjas picked up— watched what I said, how I acted, who I talked with.

It was funny, I came to realise, but there were a lot of similarities between the two lifestyles.

The only difference was that I was also slightly blinded by the allure of a shinobi lifestyle.

I knew, oh I knew, that it was not a glamorous life, however, even here in the capital, the word ninja held a particular brand of allure.

Sure, in the social circles my family ran with, ninjas were seen as beneath us, but as a hole…throughout the country, there was a subtle encouragement to become one.

And I was not immune to it, just more aware of it.

However if simply deciding on a path for myself was my only problem, then I would think that the Kami liked me. Which was certainly not the case.

The very fact that I was a noble posed a problem. Mainly the question of how the hell was I actually going to persuade my family to allow this to happen. Not to mention that I was not sure on the actual application process and requirements.

I knew that physically I would be surely lacking behind most of my peers, except maybe the civilian born ones. But even they were likely to have more muscle mass than my nonexistent one, after all they were bound to move more than me.

There was also the fact, —the big fact— that if this world was essentially cannon Naruto then a lot of shit was going to happen, and far sooner than I would be strictly comfortable with. Of course I had no idea if the events I knew —which I was also starting to forget— were actually going to happen.

For all I knew, at the moment I could be in an 'alternate Naruto-universe world.'

Kami my head hurt.

There was also the ickle little problem of, you know… actually not getting killed on a routine mission. _That,_ coupled with everything else, that might come, meant I had to become strong.

I had no illusions of being Naruto strong, —although in my opinion, by shippunden Kishimoto clearly didn't know what else to do so he pulled out random powers for his ass for Naruto and Sasuke—but I needed to be strong enough to survive whatever this world was going to throw my way.

I didn't want to become a shinobi for any particularly altruistic goal. I just wanted to regain my independence —which I completely under-appreciated in my previous life— and become able to protect myself.

So yeah…I was no hero, and I was certain, that I was a bit of a coward…but…oh well, we can't all be Naruto's.

I don't have a goal like becoming Hokage to work towards or such amazingly close and precious bonds that I wanted to die protecting. It was sad, but it was the truth. My family and I were not that close to each other and I didn't have any friends my own age. —whether that meant mentally or physically I had no idea—

* * *

 **-1 year and 4 months-**

I was currently in a carriage heading towards Konohagakure. With me was my nurse, Shizumi, two samurai, Hideki and Toshio —who father ordered to stay with me— and Kazu, one of our butlers. —who has always been very kind to me—

I done it. It took the better part of a year to convince my parents I was serious and even longer to get father to actually accept.

But I had persuaded them to allow me to enrol into the Academy, after months of intense arguments and screaming matches.

My mother refused to speak with me for the past month and I had only seen father twice in said month and my siblings were also of the opinion that I was crazy but as a hole, they unanimously agreed that this was only a phase.

They didn't believe I could pass the Academy or even what to stay once I got started. Which I think was one of the main reasons why father 'indulged my rebellion.'

And to an extent I was worried about failing or not being good enough for this lifestyle. A little princess playing at being a ninja. But I want to pass. I want to be a good ninja _damn it_.

It was for that reason why every morning and evening, —once I have decided what I want to do— was spent running around the compound, and doing light stretches that I could remember from my previous world.

It was noting mind-blowing, but considering that I had zero stamina, it was challenging. I couldn't even run one full lap in the beginning, without feeling my lungs burning. Eventually, I got better, as I kept forcing myself to run everyday. —so long as it wasn't raining, because getting sick was time consuming—

I know that everyone in the manor was confused about my sudden interest in training, and they certainly gossiped, but I done my best to ignore them. It was hard enough motivating myself to solo train, no need to make it harder because I was put off by what people around me were saying.

Moreover I have, for the first time, tapped into the energy I have been able to feel since birth.

It was hard to describe the feeling, it did not feel foreign or wrong in this body, however I was acutely aware that I never felt something like it before in my old world.

So I did not mess with it.

It was everywhere, in the trees, the plants, the animals, me, every single person I have encountered, even in the air we breathed. And nobody mentioned it, so it had to be normal.

One of those things people didn't bother mentioning because everyone simply _knew_.

But now I knew what it was. Before, not knowing, stopped my natural curiosity from acting up, because I didn't want to fuck something —or someone— up.

Now? Now I knew that it had to be chakra. What else could it be?

Especially after meeting the shinobi father hired. They had so much more of that energy in them.

So I tried to tentatively channel it throughout my body. It was slow and lethargic, especially in the very begging, so it took a while to get it to move as I wanted it too.

I discovered that if I added just the right about of chakra to things, I could make them stick to me or I stick to them.—as in the case where I practiced on my desk and got both of my hands stuck—

I couldn't practice it very much per day, since I had so little chakra to begin with, —not to mention that by not using it, the pathways in by body were not developed enough— however I did not allow that to deter me from learning how to control it and experiment with it every day.

What time I had left between my self imposed training, my schooling and other lessons, such as the art of small talk, among other things,—no seriously, Mitsuko and I spent five hours per week with our mother learning various things, that any: 'proper lady,' should know— I forced myself to remember details from my previous life about this world.

Everything that I remembered, I would write down. —in english, which I was almost certain nobody spoke— Once I done that, I read over the information again and again, till I had it memorised and then I would burn the evidence.

No need to leave such information laying around even if it was written in a different language.

There was _always_ someone smarter than you.

I didn't want to know this information because I was planing on going out of my way to change things. If they weren't going to affect me, I wasn't planing on interfering. Selfish? Yes, but I already established that I was no hero.

However I was going to go to Konoha and that place basically had a gigantic banner inviting trouble in. Knowing things certainly couldn't be considered a bad thing, so long as I didn't just blurt it around.

And I liked knowing things, sue me.

Plus, I think a looming war would be good enough of an incentive to take my training seriously. I did not plan on dying in just a couple of, very, short years.

* * *

When we reached the village's gates, a pair of shinobi came forth to check our documentation and enquire about our reason for coming.

It was slightly embarrassing when Kazu told them I wished to enrol into the academy, and that was why we were planning on living here for a while.

Going by the look the two ninja's shared…they must have felt similarly to my family. A little noble thinking that they could play ninja.

But I will show _everyone_ , and more importantly _myself_ , that if I put my mind to something I can achieve it.

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you for the comments, they are very encouraging :D**

 **Lavendor Queen: Thank you. And no her parents don't really like it but they also don't really think she is serious -serious enough- so for not they feel that if it would silence her they might as well indulge her wish.**

 **grifman275: I know right?**

 **tH1s: Thank you so much for your feedback. I really appreciate the constructive advice you have given me. I have planned, and written something like a bullet point list, of what I want to happen and in what order. Yes it will be 'A hero's journey' as this will focus on Yukiko, since she is the main character. However I do not have a detailed ending, or more specifically I know how I want it to end but the finally bit I am still in the process of planning.**

 **However I will admit to wishing to keep my 1st person structure. Reason being I am trying to improve my writing abilities and I find 1st person to be far more challenging that 3rd, since that is my default writing style. Since I am working on 2 Naruto stories, I want one-my main one- to be in 3rd person and this one to be in first and then at the end see how they turned out and compare them.**

 **This is not to say that I did not give your advice some though, however that is one point I do not wish to change. I might inplement it when I write segments detailing other character's opinions and use 3rd person there.**

 **I hope you will continue enjoying this story and thank you all for reading. This chapter, was to finally get some more minor things out of the way, but from next chapter onwards I will show her going through the academy and we can start watching her ninja career.**

 **Please let me know of any mistakes -if you want- and don't be shy to give your opinion if you think something needs to be changed, or it doesn't make sense.**

 **Have a lovely day!**


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